20 lbs

I'm gonna take for all it's worth.  

The feeling I feel:

-Pride

-Happiness

-Self worth

-Determined

-Excited

I have been working hard.  Some days are harder than others.  I eat clean 90% and then there is a 10% of "dirtyness".  But that's ok.  I am a human, I'm not a robot.  I like Chocolate, I like Chicken Wings but I LOVE my Breakfast Fruit and Nut cookies from my Eat Clean cookbook.  So there IS a happy medium.  I'm the same person, but my choices are different.  Actually maybe I'm a little bit different.  Now I know I can do it.  Not that I ever doubted myself.  But it's the first time that I am ever successful in weightloss doing it all on my own.  Not to diss the programs out there.  I did Weight Watchers years ago, did it work for me, yes, for a little while.  But I lost my mojo...I didn't keep my eye on the prize, so to speak.  Oh but not this time...my eye is on it...I haven't looked away, not for a moment.  

So today is a good day for me.  I am going to take it, and keep it tight in my hands.  I look forward to the next 20 or 30 or 40...I've come this far, why stop now right.  I have nothing to loose really, except 70 fucking pounds...!!!!! Really...yes, really! 

Oh and for the record, my ASS is sore from that Cycle class...but I love it...I love being sore, it reminds me how hard I worked.  I love that sweat was seeping out from my neck and running down my back, it reminded me of how hard I was pushing myself.  Today I did an Abs class, then a Yoga class right after...those classes remind me of what I need to do to win the prize.  It's all falling exactly where it should.

Keeping my eye on the prize and a sweet prize that will be!

*smiling*

I did it!!

I finally managed to get to my very first cycle class...and I LOVED it!!  I can't wait to go again.   For the first 10 mins, I was like, ok, this isn't too bad...I have done the cycle bike several times during my workouts, so so far so good...then after that first 10 mins, that was it.  "Pick UP Speed!!!" the instructor YELLS...Ya I'm telling ya she was yelling...then it was like, "Fast as you can, C'MON"  I felt the rush..I was given 'er all I got...then it was up hill, then she said something about sand bags, no clue what she meant but all I could do was peddle, all know is I was following everyone else...didn't even realize my butt was no longer on the seat and that I was peddling standing up...then down...then faster, butt up and then sit down... and then slowing down...don't forget to drink...then "Pick up the speed again people!!!"...so ok, you get the jist of it.

It was great, and I'll deffinetely go again.  Possibly even Saturday morning actually.  That class just rocked it for me and I am so pumped again...I feel like I got my mojo back!

To give you an idea of what the class might have looked like...see below.

 
So another fun little tid bit...I finally got a few pics of my new kicks that are here to stay.  Working out well for me, very comfy and compatible with my orthotics which is very convenient.  I've always had a shoe fetish, but now it's been taken to another level.  I want a new pair of runners for each day of the week.  I can't get enough...of course that will not happen as long as I'm married...lol  But it's fun to dream.

Here are my new Puppies.  :)

Back to the grind tomorrow - Monday.

Well it's Sunday night and I'm taking inventory of my weekend.  I must say we got lots done, as in, errands and running around.  As for physical activity on my behalf it was next to none really.  Well ok that's a lie, I did the bike here at my apartment tonight for 25 mins.  I also did a bit of walking, so not entirely I horrible lazy weekend.  Can't wait to get to the gym tomorrow though.  I'm going to do an Abs class on my lunch and possible Yoga, I haven't been to a Yoga class in a while, I really do believe I need it.  My right calve has been so tight and sore, I truly believe a good strtch is what I need.  Not to mention my right foot has been so sore...this Planters Faciitis ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plantar_fasciitis ) has been killing me.  But I have finally found and invested in a new pair of runners...I went with New Balance again.  Stay tuned for photos.  I like them and I'm happy with them.  I wish they would have had the Sauconys I tried about a month ago..they were perfect but of course were gone.  Ah well...
Well, I wanted to post today cause my last post was a bit discouraging.  Thank you for the support Jan and the comment.  You know I want to be honest with my journey...so that's why I open up.  I want to share my challenges and how it can really trying sometimes to stay motivated and keep your eye on the prize. 
When I first started to Eat Clean, I was gung ho...I feel as though I'm loosing for of my mojo...but then when I think about how far I've come, and the 18 POUNDS I've lost...I feel my fire being to light again.  So I'm going to say it again, Keeping my eye on the prize!!  I have a wedding to attend in June then possible in August...and I am going to wear that little...red, green, purple, multicolor, yellow...or black dress...I don't care what color is it, as long as it's little!
Thanks to everyone who reads...I've been told I am inspiring...that's not something that I have ever thought I could do for others.  So that makes me really happy...I am going to keep going and going...thank you for letting me inspire you...You know who you are...
Ok, it's Sunday I'm going to bed.  Getting ready for a great week of fitness and motivation...I'm going to do it!

I messed up tonight

So today I tried my first Aerobox class.  Ok, holy wow...it was awesome.  Very high intensity cardio, well, for me it was.  I REALLY enjoyed it and will definetely go back again.  I had every intentions on going back to the gym after work today, but my right foot was throbbing and I really would not have been able to do much more.  So I walked home instead and had a early dinner with my husband.

So we made a trip to the Dollar Store to pick up a few things we needed.  Then went down the junk isle, mistake #1...what did I do that for...?  I grabbed a Bueno bar, 2 wafer bars in a package = 240 calories, 16g of fat, 21g Carbs and 18g of Sugar...Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously...I have no clue why I grabbed it...I saw, I grabbed, didnt even think twice about it.  

Ok, so we get home...talking about how we have 2 small jars of salsa in the fridge.  Then laughed because we do not have anything to dip in the salsa.  We couldnt just leave it at that and have some salsa on eggs in the morning or topped on a salad...of course not...I walked up to the fucking Valuemart and get a back of tostitos...Mistake #2.  

As I sit here and watch the Biggest Loser...I am thinking about my day.  And how f-en pissed I am at myself.  I got on the bike for 20 mins earlier.  But thats just not enough.  So after this I am getting back on and gonna bike until the end of Biggest Loser, shower then go to bed.  

I know tomorrow is another day, but I just dont know why I did that.  Ya know...like I really didnt need to chocolate and chips and salsa, but I didnt even think twice about it and thats what scares me.  I need to get to the bottom of this.  I really do.  

I hope my next post is more positive.  I will make sure it is.

There's something to say about believing in yourself and letting others believe in you.